My Wife Had an Affair - Is it My Fault?

I know the range of emotions and thoughts you are struggling with as you try to answer the question, "my wife had an affair is it my fault? Let me just say that without knowing your particular situation I can't tell you for sure. However, I hope to give you some things to consider and perhaps you can begin to heal and figure out what to do next.

My guess is that you are knocking yourself upside the head trying to figure out why your wife had an affair and I'm sure you will get to the bottom of it, in due time.

It's difficult to look back and pin point one thing that led to your wife having an affair because marriages usually erode slowly. There is the occasional affair that happens when someone is intoxicated and loses all control, but one can argue whether that's an affair or some kind of abuse.

Some spouses end up having an affair due to neglect. This may not be your situation, but often times, husbands get so busy trying to earn a living and keep their leisure time to take off steam they fail to invest time in their marriage. When a husband works excessively some wives view it as you value work more than her or thoughts that you are cheating run through her mind. Your innocent attempts to provide a good life for your family could have contributed to your wife having an affair to fill a missing void.

There are also marriages where because of the pressures of life couples just don't communicate as much as they use to and instead of a wife getting her emotional needs met by her husband she looks to someone else. My wife had an affair because of something I didn't do is not the way most husbands look it.

I would venture to guess that most men feel like their wife was just being selfish. It's enlightening when a husband looks in the mirror to see what role he played in creating an environment for the affair to occur.

Marriages have their ups and downs and often times during the down periods spouses are very vulnerable. Couples sometimes seek a way to bring some joy, peace, fun and excitement back into their life. Unfortunately, instead of looking to her husband a wife may have an affair and my heart is broken when this happens. If only couples would turn to each other instead of someone else to meet his or her needs.

So, to answer the question regarding "my wife had an affair is it my fault", the answer in my humble opinion is probably not, unless you purposely neglected being intimate with her, to meet her physical and emotional needs. Even if this was the case, your wife should have given you plenty of hints and warning signs to alert you to the oncoming danger.

The best way to figure out what role your actions or lack there of contributed to your wife having an affair, is to try to work things out with your wife.

Whether you decide to stay with her or leave you will need to settle some of these unanswered questions and you will need to forgive her. I know that sounds crazy at the moment but if you want any peace and happiness going forward forgiveness is a must.

Please don't assume because your wife had an affair it's over. There are couples all over the world who have recovered from an affair and had a great marriage after working through rebuilding trust, learning how to forgive and heal.

If you loved your wife I would encourage you to take a few minutes and see if your marriage can be saved, even if your wife had an affair. It's a honest and straight forward guide put together by someone who found a way to repair her marriage after an affair. It's called Affair Repair.

Take the next step in your healing and recover by visiting here! Affair Repair

Forgiving Infidelity - 3 Reasons Why You Must Forgive

Forgiving infidelity when sacred vows and trust has been betrayed is not a position any of us expected to be in. For some strange reason we thought that our relationship was special and different than many others. Then one day to our surprise we were crushed when we found out that our mate has been unfaithful.

If you have recently experienced the pain, hurt, anger and confusion associated with infidelity and wondering if forgiving your partner is necessary the answer is yes!

Whether you choose to forgive and move on or forgive and try to work things out is really up to you. However, for you to heal and be made whole you must forgive. I know forgiving infidelity may not be something you are ready to do right now but in the long run it's vital that you do and here are 3 reasons why.

Forgiving infidelity helps you to heal

Believe it or not one of the important steps in moving on with life (with or without your partner) is to have your broken heart and spirit restored. If you continue to hold resentment and anger towards your mate you will always feel attached to the incident and it will be with you forever.

If you can't forgive it can affect future relationships because in your heart and mind will be these feelings of mistrust and anger and all the other emotions you have dealt with. None of these contribute to a healthy relationship with your partner or someone else you may become involved with in the future.

Forgiving infidelity releases your partner

Again, whether you decide to stay or leave at some point your partner needs to know that you forgive him or her. I know at the moment, forgiving your partner after such an unfaithful act is the last thing you want to do, but it's something that you should do.

As long as he or she knows that you are still hurting or dealing with the betrayal, it's something that binds you together. If you love him or her and want to try and work thinks out then forgiving infidelity is a requirement and not an option. If you think you will be moving on you will want to make a clean cut and forgiving the infidelity is sort of the letting your partner know that you are ready to move on to the next chapter of your life.

Forgiving infidelity is the right thing to do

Ok, I know that when you dwell on what selfishness your partner has just displayed and the damage that was done to your heart and life, doing what's right doesn't feel right. You feel like the right thing to do is make your partner feel the same way you do right? Running your partner and the other cheating person over with a truck feels like the right thing to do perhaps!

Well, please note that I'm not trying to pass judgment but that's the wrong thing to do. Revenge is very rarely justified or warranted. Again, forgiving infidelity shows how much you love or loved your partner and acknowledges that we are all capable of making a mistake and may need forgiveness at some point in our life.

I hope that forgiving infidelity is not just something you are thinking about but doing. It's necessary for your healing and ability to move on with or without your partner.

If you choose to forgive and restore your relationship please do me a favor.

Please take 2 minutes and find out from a person who was facing forgiving infidelity and not only forgave but built a stronger relationship after the affair. Click here to begin your healing. Forgiving Infidelity

Christian Infidelity - God Please Forgive Me For I Have Been Unfaithful

Christian infidelity is very much like any other sin you commit except it's one that God says is grounds for divorce. It doesn't mean that you must get divorced or that you can't be forgiven, but the consequences of your unfaithfulness can result in a divorce.

God looks at all sins the same but unfortunately men and women are not capable of doing so. You see to God, even looking and lusting after another is committing adultery so by that standard many are guilty and need to repent and ask for forgiveness.

Christian Infidelity vs non-Christian Infidelity

In my opinion there is no more or less pain involved when adultery occurs. There is devastation in most relationships when an affair has occurred. The hurt cannot be measured and the brokenness or shame is visibly seen, once the infidelity is uncovered.

Asking God for Forgiveness

There are many instances in the bible where you can find wisdom regarding forgiveness. I've noted two of them below for your reference.

1 John 1:19 says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness".

If you believe in confession of sins, and you should, then to help get through your Christian infidelity, go to God in prayer and ask to be forgiven. Once you do, please take God at His word and believe you have been forgiven.

2 Chronicles 7:14 - This is a very practical verse that I believe if followed can help you begin to recover from Christian Infidelity. The verse is as follows;

"If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land".

Now as a Christian you know you are called by His name. Dealing with your Christian infidelity involves humbling yourself and praying to God for forgiveness, strength and wisdom. You of course will need to seek God's plan and direction for your life and needless to say no longer commit adultery i.e., turn from your wicked ways. Then you will hear from heaven.

Although life may seem difficult right now due to your Christian infidelity, with God's help you can make it through this season of your life. It doesn't mean that you won't have pain and hard times ahead because of your infidelity, but holding onto God and following His guidance will give you the best chance to restore your relationship and life.

One of the things you will need to do is forgive yourself as you begin to rebuild your relationship.

I hope this information helps you to begin healing and restoring your life after Christian infidelity has happened.

I know the pain you are feeling and trust me it does get better. If you have 2 more minutes please read here, Affair Repair, and learn vital steps you can take to recover from Christian infidelity.

Coping With an Emotional Affair - 3 Steps to Help Bring Healing

Coping with an emotional affair can be more difficult than dealing with a physical affair, believe it or not. Although both kinds of affairs can easily breakup a relationship, an emotional affair is more about companionship, love and the heart instead of lust and physical attraction.

The emotional affair is a little more difficult to address because it usually evolves over time and a sharing or bonding develops between the two individuals and before you know it emotional needs are being met. As time goes on instead of confiding in his or her partner and drawing closer there is a distancing and disconnect that starts to happen. The person looks for companionship and emotional support outside of the existing relationship.

There are some signs that may tip you off regarding the affair underway such as; spending a significant amount of time online or sending text messages in a very private manner; keeping things away from you such as credit card bills or phone bills etc that might highlight inappropriate activities; consistently lying and about whereabouts. Although there may be suspicious activities it doesn't confirm that your partner is having an emotional affair, but gives you a reason to take a closer look at your relationship.

So what's the best way for coping with an emotional affair?

Well, the first step is that you should make up in your mind and heart that you don't want to cope with an emotional affair. To cope means to manage and I'm sure your desire is to end the emotional affair before it breaks up your relationship. So make sure you are willing to take the necessary steps to bring an end to the affair.

The second step you want to take is begin getting yourself together to deal with the situation. Despite the problems you have in your relationship your partner's emotional affair won't solve any of them. As you begin to look closer at your relationship and the behaviors of your partner you will probably have difficulties controlling your emotions.

I'm sure you realize that if there is an emotional affair going on it probably took some time to develop. It's going to take some time to work through this and the more you have yourself together the easier it will be to fix the problem in your relationship.

The third step you want to take is to begin having open and honest conversations with your partner about your relationship. It's crucial to began getting all of the cards on the table. This requires both of you speaking truthfully about what's going on and why. It's important not to argue and point fingers about who is at fault. The goal is not to tear each other down but to start figuring out how you can work together to fulfill all of each other's needs.

It's ok to express to your partner the hurt, pain and stress this is having on you and how you want to work together to make your relationship better than it ever was.

Coping with an emotional affair is less complicated when you have the right perspective and plan to figure out how to get your relationship back on track. There are lots of resources available to help guide you through the healing and repairing process.

If you have the desire and commitment to fix your relationship and become companions and soul mates again visit here ----> Coping With An Emotional Affair and start a new chapter in your relationship.