My Wife Had an Affair - Is it My Fault?

I know the range of emotions and thoughts you are struggling with as you try to answer the question, "my wife had an affair is it my fault? Let me just say that without knowing your particular situation I can't tell you for sure. However, I hope to give you some things to consider and perhaps you can begin to heal and figure out what to do next.

My guess is that you are knocking yourself upside the head trying to figure out why your wife had an affair and I'm sure you will get to the bottom of it, in due time.

It's difficult to look back and pin point one thing that led to your wife having an affair because marriages usually erode slowly. There is the occasional affair that happens when someone is intoxicated and loses all control, but one can argue whether that's an affair or some kind of abuse.

Some spouses end up having an affair due to neglect. This may not be your situation, but often times, husbands get so busy trying to earn a living and keep their leisure time to take off steam they fail to invest time in their marriage. When a husband works excessively some wives view it as you value work more than her or thoughts that you are cheating run through her mind. Your innocent attempts to provide a good life for your family could have contributed to your wife having an affair to fill a missing void.

There are also marriages where because of the pressures of life couples just don't communicate as much as they use to and instead of a wife getting her emotional needs met by her husband she looks to someone else. My wife had an affair because of something I didn't do is not the way most husbands look it.

I would venture to guess that most men feel like their wife was just being selfish. It's enlightening when a husband looks in the mirror to see what role he played in creating an environment for the affair to occur.

Marriages have their ups and downs and often times during the down periods spouses are very vulnerable. Couples sometimes seek a way to bring some joy, peace, fun and excitement back into their life. Unfortunately, instead of looking to her husband a wife may have an affair and my heart is broken when this happens. If only couples would turn to each other instead of someone else to meet his or her needs.

So, to answer the question regarding "my wife had an affair is it my fault", the answer in my humble opinion is probably not, unless you purposely neglected being intimate with her, to meet her physical and emotional needs. Even if this was the case, your wife should have given you plenty of hints and warning signs to alert you to the oncoming danger.

The best way to figure out what role your actions or lack there of contributed to your wife having an affair, is to try to work things out with your wife.

Whether you decide to stay with her or leave you will need to settle some of these unanswered questions and you will need to forgive her. I know that sounds crazy at the moment but if you want any peace and happiness going forward forgiveness is a must.

Please don't assume because your wife had an affair it's over. There are couples all over the world who have recovered from an affair and had a great marriage after working through rebuilding trust, learning how to forgive and heal.

If you loved your wife I would encourage you to take a few minutes and see if your marriage can be saved, even if your wife had an affair. It's a honest and straight forward guide put together by someone who found a way to repair her marriage after an affair. It's called Affair Repair.

Take the next step in your healing and recover by visiting here! Affair Repair